THE FETUS (2025)

3 stars

Miracle Media. Digital. 6th July.

THE FETUS – now there is a title to conjure with! Poor Lauren LaVera, not content with wrangling with Art the Clown in the TERRIFIER movies, she is now faced with what might be termed a somewhat unusual pregnancy.

During a raging storm, Alessa (LaVera) and Chris (Julian Curtis) are having passionate sex. At one point Chris thinks he sees her face change into some kind of devil, which understandably shocks him. He also realises that the condom has broken – which he doesn’t tell his girlfriend. Of course she is somewhat surprised when she learns at her annual check up that she is pregnant.

Alessa arrives back home and confronts him – finding the broken condom. She explains her body doesn’t work like others and things happen faster. He offers her the morning after pill. Which she throws in the toilet. We learn her mother died giving birth to her.

She is going to see her father Maddox (Bill Moseley, Chop Top from THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2) as he will know what to do. Chris initially refuses to come with her. As she has a grumble in her stomach, some kind of tentacle comes out from between her legs! She faints and she finally persuades him to take her to see her Dad.

Stopping on the way for a pit stop she visits the toilet and the strange, umbilical monster attacks a woman and kills her and then retreats back into Alessa… childbearing has never been so horrific!

Much of it leans towards the absurd and even comical, and this feels like an old fashioned exploitation outing – sort of in Frank Hennonletter territory, with the use of practical effects to depict the munching monster – which looks like the chestburster from ALIEN – adding to the retro vibe. LaVera is strong as the rather distressed mother to be and Moseley is good value as her supposedly blind father. He knows what is going on with his daughter. “This is not a normal fetus… the fetus needs to eat”, he declares. You don’t say. As the plot progresses things get more ridiculous and the situation gets out of hand, leading to the OTT gory finale.

Steve Kirkham