YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE (2023) Review by Steve Kirkham



2 stars
Scatena & Rosner Films. Digital

For some reason the onscreen title drops the apostrophe from YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE… which is probably indicative of the care taken by writer/director Dominic Ross with this poor killer on the loose chiller.

A group of social justice warriors (well at least that’s what the press releases calls them) lead by Ana (Jacquie Cardinale), believe the man being blamed for a series of highway killings is actually the wrong man. After appearing on a TV show to express their theory, they decide to head out to an abandoned summer camp, where one of the victims was found.

In the best horror tradition when you think there is crazed murderer chopping and lopping, they separate to search the area… which is always a good move. Not. What a surprise when they start being killed off one by one by the real serial killer. Colour me shocked!

‘Sometimes you have to kill the monster’ is an oft repeated line by various characters – and with the title YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE, you expect it to do what it says on the tin. Which for the most part it does (just not very well) – we get the ubiquitous masked killer wearing a hoodie and being an equal opportunities murderer he uses a knife, a hammer, even a shotgun to kill his victims. You know whatever is to hand.

As Ana tries to stay alive and escape we get her back story being filled in to try and give some psychology to her survival instinct and make connections to her past.

The film fails to offer anything new in the serial killer stakes and is narratively all over the shop with seemingly unrelated scenes popping up and a main character who makes poor decisions (but don’t they always). Though she is in good company with her friends, who also don’t seem to have many brain cells, she just manages to stay alive longer than them. Strictly for undemanding fans of ‘killer on the loose killing everyone’ movies.

The killer is credited as The Monster and is played by Richard Tyson, amongst a cast of unknowns. Lori Petty (Tank Girl) appears as Ana’s mum.